Most parents say that their kids grow up too fast and though I have to agree with that statement mostly, I feel that Caleb has been 2 for a very long time and we still have 3 1/2 more months until he is 3.  I am not saying this in a negative way, but I just feel that this past year has gone slower than previous years which has been awesome and challenging.  I am learning that every stage has its pros and cons, and though I am really excited for things to come and miss other things from when he was younger, I am really trying to never wish my children are any other age or at any other stage than what they are currently at. I feel that 2 year olds are rather bi-polar. Caleb is either kissing me and won’t let me go or is mad at me and throwing a tantrum because I will not let him eat 5 granola bars 30 seconds before we are going to have dinner.

One of the most common pieces of parenting advice I hear is “enjoy the moment” which is much easier said than done. I have not enjoyed every moment of parenting…who has? It’s hard but also awesome.   Caleb is super fun right now especially since he is so vocal and constantly makes us laugh with the things he says to us. He is discovering so much right now and learning about empathy and different emotions.   He has definitely taught me a lot in the last 2 ½ years and I am sure has much more to teach me.   Here are some key lessons he has taught me.

1. Whatever I expected parenting to be like, I was wrong.

I am not sure what I expected parenting to be like as honestly, I was not one of those girls who dreamed of having kids and couldn’t wait to have kids. My husband and I were not even sure we wanted kids early on in our relationship. I think the biggest surprise is the gamut of emotions I feel from unconditional love, complete and utter frustration, fear, overflowing with joy, a protectiveness like I have never experienced, worry, fun and those are often my emotions in just one day!

2. Love and gratitude like I have never known before.

Some say that a parent’s love is like no other and I have to agree with that but obviously did not know until I held Caleb in my arms for the first time.   The love is completely unconditional and there are times I want to rip my hair out but no matter what I will love my kids with my whole heart.   I am very close to my family and love them and my husband dearly but there is something different about your child.   Even when Caleb unintentionally hurts my feelings, (he is a daddy’s boy) and I am sure there will be many of these times as he grows, Caleb and Madelynn will never know how much I love them and I do not think they will understand until they have children of their own if they choose to do so.

I have always thought of myself as a grateful person but my gratitude increased tenfold when I held both my healthy children after they were born. I am grateful every day and every time I look at them and know they are healthy and growing and thriving.

3. The self-doubt I have as a parent is fierce

I have also thought of myself as a fairly confident person. I love to read, research and study. I would get my PhD in a heartbeat and about 5 more Masters Degrees if they were free. So if I do not know the answer about something or feel unfamiliar in a subject, well I can just look it up and study it! HA, then came parenting.   It is the most important job in the world yet besides maybe a birthing class, there is no training. Nothing will ever prepare you for the battles, joys and constant self-doubt of parenting. There are so many ‘methods’ and ways to do this and that I have come to realize none of us really know what we are doing.   I often feel that I am in a constant state of self-doubt. We are all trying our best and I hope to raise well adjusted, respectful and kind children.

4. You do not have to be busy, every single second

This might sound odd coming from the mom of a VERY busy toddler.   I like to be busy, well, let me rephrase that, I pride myself on being busy and trying to do it all. And sometimes I think this is tied to my self-worth. I have a full time job and 4 other part-time/free-lance jobs and I think I should always be accomplishing something. I am not very good at just relaxing. I will pick Caleb up from school and I have missed him all day and want to spend time with him as even though I know it is best for our family for me to work, I still have a little guilt about working full time. So I ask him, what shall we do? Play dinosaurs? How about trains? Do you want to color? Let’s do some crafts! Caleb’s school has a great program that includes work cycles, music etc. and I often think that by the time he gets home he is a little overstimulated and wants to just chill. He might just want to jump in the leaves in the backyard, he might just want to stand by me while I cook dinner and sometimes help. It is okay to not to be accomplishing something 24 hours a day. I am still working on this (as I am nursing and typing this at the same time. 🙂 )

5. Be super excited about even the little things!

I do love seeing the world from a toddler’s perspective. Adult world is hard. We have bills and family emergencies and challenging relationships and lots and lots of laundry. I often forget to get excited about the small things.   Seeing Caleb experience or do something for the first time is just awesome.   Halloween was literally the best day of his life. He got to dress up (which if you saw our pictures….we all kind of like to dress up), walk up to strangers houses and they just give you CANDY!!!!   He stayed up until 10 PM and I think ate about 8 suckers that night. Best day ever. But he had a blast and it was so fun to be a part of it.  I look forward to many more firsts and experiences through his eyes.

6. Every meal does not have to be perfect

Now do not get me wrong, my nutrition is far from perfect as I love wine and sweets. But honestly, who gets to define ‘perfect’ in the eating world anyway? Perfection is an unrealized ideal and what might be perfect to someone is not perfect to another. Now, I do think nutrition is SUPER important and obviously it is related to my job and I try to eat super healthy 90% of the time but eating perfect is not real life so I am not sure why sometimes I feel anxious about Caleb’s diet. I know that I am teaching him good nutrition and feeding him  nutritious food but still let him enjoy his food and have treats.     I have come a long way in this area but I still have some of these thoughts creep in if I realize he has not had any vegetables for the day. It’s going to be okay! I am consistent with his food, just like I preach to my clients consistency is what matters most with nutrition and exercise. You cannot eat perfect one day and eat crap the rest of the week, just like you cannot workout for 2 weeks at the beginning of January and assume you are going to really impact your health. It is okay if sometimes his lunch consists of 3 bites of yogurt, 1 olive and a piece of Halloween candy, he is not malnourished because of that one lackluster meal.  Kids have an incredible ability to regulate their food intake, unlike many adults. They will eat when they are hungry and eat when they are full. As long as I am exposing him to lots of different healthy foods, involving him in meals and cooking, I think and hope he will develop a healthy relationship with food and continue to want to eat nutritious food.

7. Empathy is learned at a very young age and is impactful

I remember the first time I saw Caleb really experience empathy for someone else. We were at my father’s house and my father tripped and kind of fell.   Very minor but Caleb saw this and was watching him and immediately started crying. I could not believe he was crying because he saw his grandfather trip.   I have seen it many more times since then, especially at school when I drop him off. If another kid is having a hard time being dropped off or is sad, Caleb can get upset. But ultimately the fact that Caleb can really experience and feel emotions around him has taught me to be careful when talking with my husband. Parenting is hard. Parenting is even harder on a marriage and of course couples can have disagreements and arguments.     However, knowing that Caleb can feel and empathize with our emotions and feel the stress makes me very aware of how I am speaking to my husband in front of him. If we are having an argument, I try my best to not do it in front of Caleb.

Overall, I have learned that 2 years olds are a lot smarter than we think they are or give them credit for. Caleb made me a mom, the hardest and most important job I will ever have and a job I am forever grateful for.

What have your little ones taught you?