I cannot believe that Madelynn will be 6th Months on Saturday. Seriously, where did half a year go? I do not think ‘postpartum’ necessarily ends at 6th months as I do not feel you have really completed the entire process until you are done nursing and go through a final hormone shift. However, I do not have an infant any more and am now am getting used to my new crazy life with 2 littles, which is not really new anymore.
Madelynn after her first day of daycare.
I have not written about postpartum for 3 months so I figured I would do one final postpartum blog. And like probably every season in a mom’s life, some things are going really well and some things are not awesome.
I feel that I had another major hormone shift around 4 months. I started to get headaches again which is how my body seems to react to hormones as I got them throughout all my fertility treatments and both pregnancies. I was also hoping I would not lose my hair like I did with Caleb but sure enough right around 4 months, my hair started falling out. (Sorry, new mamas but if you did not know this, losing hair is super common after you have a baby).
Though I know we are done having kids and am so grateful for our beautiful family, New Years weekend I sorted through all the kids clothes to get rid of those that do not fit. I became so sad knowing that I was actually going to get rid of these clothes. When I packed all of Caleb’s baby clothes away, I always knew we wanted another baby, now I know we are done but it made me surpisingly sad, I actually cried as I put them in my car. Then someone suggested saving a few of my favorite outfits for either close friends or for even my grandkid, so I went back into all the bags and pulled out some of my favorites outfits 🙂
Below is what is going well and what I am struggling with and as always I would love to hear from other moms what is working and not working for you.
What is going well:
- I am very lucky that I am still exclusively breastfeeding. We started solids this week just with a few veggies and fruit. I had to supplement formula with Caleb at 6th months as I could not keep up with his demand. I am not able to pump quite as much as Madelynn is eating each day so I am starting to get into my freezer stash but I am hoping to breastfeed a few more months.
- We have figured out how to operate as a family of four. I still feel like our house and lives are a hot mess a lot of the time but honestly, who does not feel like that? I am grateful for the chaos. We are often divide and conquering and because I am nursing, this often means my husband is with Caleb who is harder to handle most of time. I am so grateful for a husband who is such an amazing and involved father.
- M is still sleeping through the night most nights. She did go through the 4 month sleep regression but luckily that only lasted a few weeks.
- Caleb is doing well with his little sister. He sometimes plays too rough but overall he is doing well.
What I am struggling with:
- I am never not tired nor do I feel that I have any downtime. Now, I know that is probably the case for every mom but I wish I could wake up one day feeling sort of refreshed without feeling like I need to inject espresso directly into my veins. My husband and I joke that if the baby sleeps through the night, my toddler doesn’t. If both the kids sleep well, the dog got us up. It is always something. This is also because both our kids are night owls right now. We have been working with Caleb on getting him down earlier but by the time we get him down, it is time to feed the baby again and then by the time I get her down it is time for me to go to bed so I often do not feel that I get to just sit for a minute. Yes, I workout and you could call that my ‘downtime’ but honestly my workouts are jammed in wherever I can fit them in and often even classes like yoga are squeezed in between feedings and meetings etc. Now I know this is just a season and everyone says I will miss these days and I know I will but right now I am exhausted always.
- M still is a horrible napper. I mean 15-20 min. I almost laugh at her reports from daycare that says she sleeps from 10:35 AM to 10:50 AM. Of course my concern is that she is not getting enough sleep but she is so tired when I pick her up that she falls asleep on the way home from daycare and then is really only awake for a few hours before I put her down for the night so I feel like I am not getting to see her. Which leads me to my next struggle.
- Though I pretend not to do the ‘mom guilt’ thing (which I honestly think is virtually impossible as I think all moms will have some form of guilt at some point) but because of Caleb’s age, I feel that he is getting 90% of the attention. He is a crazy, fun toddler which often means demanding and needy. He is becoming so independent which has its pros and cons as he thinks he can climb by himself to the top shelf of the pantry to get something. I just often feel that I am putting Madelynn in the Bumbo seat or on the baby gym so I can help Caleb.
- Physically I am feeling pretty good except tired (please see above). I have not really lost any more weight the last few months and am still not down to my pre-baby weight but am not really stressing out about it because I am still nursing and therefore still holding onto fat stores. I have enjoyed completing a few more races in the past couple months and super excited to do a triathlon and more races this summer. The baby weight is frustrating but reality.
- I am having a much harder time with balancing work and life. This is probably due to the fact I have two kids now so double the laundry, double the managing of doctor’s appointments, school calendar etc. I am struggling between wanting to stay at my job which I love and having the kids home with me for maybe just one or two days a week. I am constantly evaluating if what I am doing with work and daycare is right for my family. Some days it does feel right and that everyone is doing well and happy and other days it doesn’t work which again is probably how the next 18 years will go :).
What is going well for you? What are you struggling with, no matter what age your kids are? I would love to hear other stories and perspective. This blog is not meant to complain in anyway as I am grateful every single day for my healthy beautiful children but motherhood is not awesome 100% of the time and I do not want to sugarcoat it. It is hard. It is messy but it is also beautiful.
XOXO
Sara
