My husband, son and I were thrilled to welcome Madelynn Elizabeth Laurel Baker into the world on July 22^nd at 5:20 AM.

After it taking 2 years to get my son into my belly, I had to kick him out at 41 weeks. 🙂 I really, really wanted to go into labor on my own with this baby. My doctor offered to induce me at 39 weeks and though it was tempting, waiting one more week or at the most two was not a big deal to me after waiting 10 months to meet our baby. Though it was very hot and I was getting uncomfortable, my husband and I knew this was our last baby and therefore I really wanted to experience going into labor.

My doctor believes that if you were late with your first baby then you are often late with your second baby and vice versa. Though I was hoping to have this baby before 41 weeks, we had a plan to induce me on July 29^th if baby had not made an appearance.   There is debate about allowing a woman to go past 41 weeks and if it is dangerous for the baby or if we should let nature tell us when to deliver. I have read some of the research and trusted my doctor and was fine with having an induction date of July 29^th.

For the past week before Madelynn was delivered, I kind of thought things were progressing. I had some cramping at night, discharge and feeling a bit more pressure. However, at my weekly check-ups, I was still only 2 cm dilated and with Caleb I was 2 cm dilated for 2 weeks and 6 hours of labor so I was not holding my breath that this baby was coming anytime soon. My doctor went over signs of labor and when to come to the hospital since I had not experienced contractions or my water breaking previously.  The Saturday before I delivered, I kind of thought my water broke as I literally could not stop going to bathroom after I woke up. I think I went 5 times in 15 min. If your water does break, most doctors want you to deliver within 24 hours to prevent infection.  I did not know if I was just hoping it was my water breaking or if I was being silly. My best friend urged me to at least call the doctor to make sure. I talked to the doctor and we agreed that it was not my water breaking.

On Tuesday, July 21^st, I went to train my clients as usual. Just as I was ending my session with my last client, I felt a trickle.  I honestly, just though it was poor bladder control, went to the bathroom and decided to go to the 11 AM CrossFit class.  Ironically, before the workout, everyone was joking about me going into labor and my water breaking on the floor. During warm-up and the strength portion, I continued to feel trickles and at this point, I could not really stop them. I decide to call the doctor’s office. The coach and class were waiting for me, I tell them to go ahead with the workout. I describe to the nurse what was going on and she says it sounded like my water breaking and that I should head on in to the hospital to at least be tested.   I knew it was not necessarily an emergency and ask her if I can run home. She says don’t wait until that evening but I can go home and get organized.   At this point, I pretty much know my water broke so  I also know that I will be meeting my little baby in the next 24 hours. I call my husband at work and let him know I am going to get tested and will call him again later.  I call my dad to let him know and  I call my sister to give her a heads up too as she plans on being in the delivery room with me.   She begs me to wait until 9 PM that night to have the baby as she has to teach a class and would never forgive herself if she misses the birth. I tell her I will try my best.  At home, I take a shower and eat as I know as soon as I get to the hospital I will be put on a clear diet and I needed some fuel if I was going to be giving birth. 🙂   I am not rushed but I kind of walk around in a daze gathering things.  At this point I am getting a little nervous.

I head to the hospital and sign some paperwork and am taken back to triage to get tested. They use a pH strip and it is confirmed that my water has broken! I get admitted and settle into my room where I will welcome my baby the next morning. The doctor comes to check me and I am already 4 cm but not really having any contractions. She wants me to walk about for 1 hour (in literally circles, since I could not leave the labor and delivery area) She is hoping this will start contractions, if not, I will start getting Pitocin at 4 PM. So I start walking, calling friends and talking and walking and walking until my hubby gets there. He then walks with me for awhile.   After an hour, nothing has happened. They check baby and call the doctor who says I can keep walking and she will come up after her shift and if nothing has happened by then, I will start Pitocin now at 6 PM. I walk again, now with my dad for another hour. The doctor checks me at 6 PM and I am still only 4 cm .  Bummer.  I am started on Pitocin.   For the next 10 hours my body tries to dilate. I do start contracting and they are sometimes only a few minutes apart sometimes fairly strong and sometimes not too painful. They keep upping my dose of Pitocin. I finally decide to get an epidural at 11 PM. This is not necessarily for pain at this point but hoping it will relax me enough to dilate further. I know this is not always the case but with Caleb, I dilated from 2 cm to 9 cm in 45 minutes after I got the epidural so at this point when I am already exhausted and hungry and on sort of a time clock of when the doctor wants the baby to be delivered due to chance of infection, I am willing to try it. No such luck on this baby. By the time the epidural takes effect, I am in quite a bit of pain and it does provide a lot of relief.  However, still not dilating.   This continues through the night. My husband tries to get some sleep but my sister and I cannot sleep and we stay up talking.

Finally at 5 AM I tell the nurses that the cramping feels more like pressure and I am ready to push. They tell me not to push as the on-call doctor just got called into another room to deliver a baby. WTF?  I have been waiting for the last 17 hours to push and now you are telling me not to?   The nurse comes in and tells me she has called my doctor to come in on her day off to deliver my baby. I become emotional when I hear this as I assumed my doctor would not be delivering my baby (she actually told me not to have the baby on the 22^nd because she was off that day) but I really wanted her to and was thankful and grateful that she would do this for me. As soon as my doctor gets there I know that I will be meeting my baby and completing my family in the next 30 minutes or so as I knew it would not take 2 ½ hours to get this baby out like Caleb.   Then they tell Adam it is time to scrub up. Watching my husband get ready to deliver our baby causes me to become emotional again. It was incredibly moving and beautiful. I wish I would have had a picture of this but maybe that would have taken away how special it really was.

When I am finally allowed to push, it takes about 20 min to deliver my beautiful baby. As it is very hectic in the delivery room, they wrap the baby so fast and put her on my chest. When she comes out, I see something hanging between her legs (which ends up being her umbilical cord :)) so I thought she was a boy. The doctor looks at Adam and says ‘did you see?’ He says no, they unwrap her again, Adam looks and tells me it was a girl! I did not believe it. I kept asking, ‘are you sure? are you sure? ‘Adam and the nurses try to convince me it is in fact a girl but I was just so convinced she was a boy for the past few months that I cannot believe it. At this point I am fairly hysterical.  Finally, they open her legs and show me and I cannot believe I have a daughter.

I would of course been happy with a healthy baby boy but to be truthful I did want a girl. Though I thought it would be fun to have one of each there is a deeper meaning of why I wanted a girl.

I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 18 years old. I never got to have a real adult relationship with her.   Though we were close, I often feel that we never got to be real friends as I feel our relationship would have become more of a friendship as I entered adulthood.   I look around at my friends and see how close they have become to their mothers and of course this makes me incredibly sad, jealous and lonely as I never did or will get to experience that with my mother. She was not at my college graduation, my wedding shower or wedding. She was not able to help plan or attend my baby shower or be present at the birth of my children. One of the hardest realities is that she never met my incredible husband nor will she ever be able to hold her two beautiful grandkids.   I miss her and think of her every single day but since having kids and becoming a mother myself, the longing for her is often so strong that it takes my breath away.   I actually have had a hard time celebrating Mother’s Day since I became a mom. Before I was a mother I did not have to celebrate it. Now, I feel that I have to celebrate it since I am a mom but honestly it is difficult because instead of feeling joy on this day, I often just feel a greater loss. So many people are celebrating with their mom and that is all I can think of, that I want to be celebrating with my mom.  In 2 years, I will have lived half of my life without my mother. She was and is such a strong influence in my life that this is a hard concept for me to grasp.

Therefore, I feel an immense amount of gratitude that I now have a daughter. Not so I can dress her up in pink things and bows (though that is fun) but what I longed for and craved was an adult relationship with my daughter.   I am so thrilled to be able to hopefully share in many of the things that I did not get to do or experience with my own mother.   We decided to name my daughter Madelynn Elizabeth Laurel, the Lynn after my middle name, Elizabeth after my sister and Laurel after my mother. The three girls in my family. I am proud to name my daughter after the two most amazing and influential women in my life. I hope that I will always feel my mother’s presence especially as I raise her 2 beautiful grandchildren.

Welcome to the world, Madelynn Elizabeth Laurel Baker.